It's really been difficult for me recently. I've been under heavy spiritual attack and depressed more than I care to admit.

Mom and I are going to take a trip to Louisiana. We're leaving tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. to meet people in Des Moines, IA. The idea was to get my mind off of my own self-pity and focusing more on reaching out to others. I pray that my attitude will be appropriate to the occassion. Please, God, let there be a place where I can do something and bring glory to ONLY You!!!

I was a bad Mari, especially Tuesday. I got home from running around all day and pretty much told my mom off. I'm not proud of that. I said something to the essence of "I'm not going to do what you asked me to. JUST because you asked me to."
She was very gracious and aware that I was being very reactionary. We had a conversation after I had cooled down and figured out that I was being a moron and Dad joined us. It helped alot.

I woke up yesterday and was mostly able to do everything I needed to do. It was great. I was doing very well and every hour saw an improvement.

Today was even better than yesterday. I was a little slow getting out of bed, but I met my goals and did fabulously at school... Until some jerk left his seat saying, "I can't sit by a person who talks." I was sorely tempted to give him the finger and say something less than kosher (an indication of my still sour disposition), but I DID restrain myself. A friend of mine did it instead.

I know I shouldn't be happy about that, but it's like my friends telling me that if anyone touches me inappropriately, they'll kill them. It's not a good thing to say (or do) but the motivation behind the expression is what means a lot to me.

I love my friends. I'm sorry I doubt you. I shouldn't. You don't really give me any reasons to. Not too often, anyway. LoL

Thanks, God, for the friends you've given me. I'm sorry that I often forget to be grateful and that I second guess Your love for me.